**Trigger Warning PTSD / Current World Events**
War Sucks! I have seen more than some and not as much as others regarding armed conflict but I understand who really pays when orders are given. Sadly I don't think this will ever change. Very rarely is it the commander or general that tend to be enjoying their wine and stake. Most know the price the normal grunt could end up paying, but how many of us truly think about the families of the soldiers or those who are simply trying to live in their cities, to make it through until tomorrow?
I paid my price and I would do it again if I had to. I would do it so that some other hair-brained teenager might not find out how expensive that cost can be. I know I could look down iron sights and pull the trigger without a second thought (until after the battle). How could the demons I already face in my dreams night after night be any worse? Or my shadow friends I see on the edge of my vision? The panic attacks and flashbacks brought on by being around too many people that I can not determine possible threats? These things will never leave me and honestly, I doubt they can get worse.
I am not looking for sympathy, but want to ask how many think about the civilians, and the families of those in the conflict? I was "asked" in '91 to go check out a convoy we had destroyed in Iraq. The convoy was about 40 miles long and they were retreating (trying to go home). We had starved them and decimated their ability to make war. They were done. They wanted to see their families again, to try to live a normal life, at least that is what made the most sense for me, as that is all I really wanted to do. We got to the site several hours all the A-10 and Apaches had finished playing, it was a true hellscape. The one thing I got from that was we took these people from their families. From that day onwards their family would never get to see those loved ones. For what purpose? Why does it always have to be paid in blood? Why when those who do the bleeding want nothing to do with it?
Am I now a pacifist? No, there are time when we are forced into a fight, and as I have said prior I know I can pull the trigger because I know what the price is going to be. Am I scared of death? No, I pray for it often even attempted to do so myself a couple of times. Thankfully my faith and familiy is now my bedrock.
Today Iraq shot tons of missiles at Israel and has created a situation in the Middle East that I doubt will simply fizzle out. So many people dying. The hurricane that hit North Carolina and South Carolina so hard. So many dead, missing, and so many more who have lost everything. News stories love showing the destruction but gloss over the true loss...Human lives and the lives of the living who have to endure those lost souls.
I paid my price and I would do it again if I had to. I would do it so that some other hair-brained teenager might not find out how expensive that cost can be. I know I could look down iron sights and pull the trigger without a second thought (until after the battle). How could the demons I already face in my dreams night after night be any worse? Or my shadow friends I see on the edge of my vision? The panic attacks and flashbacks brought on by being around too many people that I can not determine possible threats? These things will never leave me and honestly, I doubt they can get worse.
I am not looking for sympathy, but want to ask how many think about the civilians, and the families of those in the conflict? I was "asked" in '91 to go check out a convoy we had destroyed in Iraq. The convoy was about 40 miles long and they were retreating (trying to go home). We had starved them and decimated their ability to make war. They were done. They wanted to see their families again, to try to live a normal life, at least that is what made the most sense for me, as that is all I really wanted to do. We got to the site several hours all the A-10 and Apaches had finished playing, it was a true hellscape. The one thing I got from that was we took these people from their families. From that day onwards their family would never get to see those loved ones. For what purpose? Why does it always have to be paid in blood? Why when those who do the bleeding want nothing to do with it?
Am I now a pacifist? No, there are time when we are forced into a fight, and as I have said prior I know I can pull the trigger because I know what the price is going to be. Am I scared of death? No, I pray for it often even attempted to do so myself a couple of times. Thankfully my faith and familiy is now my bedrock.
Today Iraq shot tons of missiles at Israel and has created a situation in the Middle East that I doubt will simply fizzle out. So many people dying. The hurricane that hit North Carolina and South Carolina so hard. So many dead, missing, and so many more who have lost everything. News stories love showing the destruction but gloss over the true loss...Human lives and the lives of the living who have to endure those lost souls.
